Mmmm…. I guess….

February 28, 2012 1 comment

Rather than fishing line, it’s becoming more of a elastic band that’s not going to break unless a scissors or something else sharp cuts it up. Well that time will happen soon enough I guess.
It’s not about the choices you make… but it’s the important decisions that you make that will eventually affect you.
Moving on to some other stuff… people mature as they grow up don’t they? Makes one wonder why some people don’t and well just act naive and probably childish. Maybe it’s the kind of place and environment that one is brought up and the things that he has been through. It’s really amazing how that can actually mould us into the kind of character you are.
That brings me back to myself. If you actually know my online nickname, i’ve always wondered why I chose that as my nickname. Now I’m starting to discover how a random nick I gave myself unknowingly speaks quite a lot about me. It makes me feel like a carrier and I’m spreading it to other people. More recently the thing about bad karma and luck have been been so focused on me. Gosh am I a magnet for bad things. This kinda made me conclude for who I am. Sad but it’s the truth for all the things that I have been through.
No matter what it is, i’m always in the wrong. No matter how valid the answer is it always gets invalidated. In truth
you can never win…
you can never throw your tantrums…
you can never do the wrong things…
Almost like the perfect being. Is that even possible? It simply is impossible as no one perfect and without imperfections this world wouldn’t be so perfect. Like our Earth that looks so smooth from far but if one were to look closely the surface is not so smooth. It is those imperfections that would create the wonders of the world.

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Mmmm somewhere… somehow… somewhat… part 2…

February 27, 2012 Leave a comment

Ah well… I think I have consolidated enough ramblings.
Like a fishing line things have been described as of recently. Has it occurred that this fishing line one day is removed and swapped with a fishing net or maybe to nothing at all.
So what is exactly needed? The continual presence or maybe just behind the scenes presence. Possibly a balance of both especially at times that have been so volatile lately. It just seems like 1 wrong move might just get things haywire. No matter what one does to get things right, it just doesn’t help in the cause. Suddenly miraculously without doing anything it recovers back to normal again. Amazing isn’t it? It’s probably life as unpredictable as it gets or maybe how another species has evolved differently.
Wasn’t this what I have been aiming for? I certainly think so. I certainly hope for it to happen more swiftly and silently as how I’ve always done things but things have not been in my control at crucial times. Well, that has hindered the progress in a way.
As the era dawns (I suppose that’s the way I prefer to call it), just like how the Roman Empire fell due to complacency, I think history is going to repeat by itself. I’ve predicted it happening a few times but all those times it was just missing the last kick and maybe the timing isn’t right. Just like how empires don’t fall overnight. They need to be conquered city by city and eventually when you reach the capital attack and destroy it. You don’t wait for them to surrender. Like the case of Hannibal vs The Romans. ( It’s a good read of you guys are interested in it and you know i’m never the history kind of person ) Maybe I’m just too soft inside… yes I know SOFTIE D: (bet someone’s laughing)
We age and pass away as time passes but time doesn’t. It just moves on and on not waiting for anyone. It will not mourn or regret for anyone. It’s just how well one uses it to the fullest.

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Somewhere… Somehow… Something… part 1 maybe?

February 6, 2012 Leave a comment

In certain parts of ur life, time has gotten a little faster sometimes it is moving a little. I suppose I’m the kind waiting for time to pass by. 24 years into my schooling life going into the 25th year I can say, I’m just very sick of this studying as some of my friends my vouch. They probably think the same way. Also due to some other reasons I guess I wished this time would move faster. Everyone’s been saying time is running out you need to take action but I think it’s a good thing that this time is running out without me doing anything. I suppose I do want to see how things will actually roll out and settle down in the future. It could either end up the same way it is now or a complete changeover in my life. With the possible departure of 1, it could mean that that whole line of domino that came along with it would start falling and push me back to square 1.

I suppose this can link me up to the fact that:

One can never realize that have lost something important to them, until it is too late for them and it slips away from them. At least to me, it’s like a fisherman’s game with a fish but that fish is never going to be caught. Imagine a fisherman with his fishing rod, with his prey hooked on, he starts reeling in saying “YES, I’ve caught something!” but they always say never count your chickens before they are born. This particular fish is still not caught, it’s just that the fisherman has suddenly grasp something important to him creating a link between the two of them. Even while the fish is up on the boat, it’s still not considered caught as long as it has this will to jump out or by chance gets swept out of the ocean. When that happens the link between them is lost.

By then when that happens, one starts realizing how important that certain something is to them by then it could have been too late. The end result can just be irreversible and that mental scar unknowingly. It just needs a catalyst to churn out that reaction just like how Chemical A & B in Chemistry gives a kaBoom effect.

It just happens that one is just too complacent taking everything around them for granted. Nothing can be there for you all the time. An example… your parents they can be there to see you through a certain portion of your life. They do grow old mind you and leave you (die). Things will never be the same all the time… people change and evolve… situation changes… things happen… That’s just life isn’t it, unpredictable.

Like my game of  fisherman catching the fish, we are all holding many fishing lines. Whether to reel in or out,  both of which has its limits. The fishing line is never infinite…  too much and u loose sight… too little the line might just snap. Maybe you just need to change your game plan completely and it’ll all work out All the time making decisions, sure people around can make a difference and influence what you say. Some inspirational some are full crap and bullshit (no offense to anyone but well no one reads this anyway… courteous y sake). In the end of the day, the decision boils down to you. IMO, any decision you make so long as you’re happy it’s fine isn’t it. You’re living your own life for now that is unless you have some commitment that complicates your life to a certain extent. To some or possibly all of us, these decisions are possibly the most dreaded one could ever make. Though the worst thing one can do is not make any decision and leave things hanging by the thread. Potentially it’s like walking ticking time bomb. kaBoom it goes anytime any moment.

…. okay…. enough of all these just 1 part i hope…. *shrugs*

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As time passes….

January 19, 2012 Leave a comment

As you grow up things, sometimes you just can’t help but notice everything around you is changing but the only thing is still the same is probably you. Well noticing that peers of my age some of them are getting engaged… married and stuff made me realize how fast time has really passed by.

Reading a friend’s blog just made me feel relieved… that he finally is searching for someone. Companionship I’d call it after years of persuading and now he finally sees some light. I suppose what finally contributed to it is probably due to him entering the working world and his failures last year. I hope he doesn’t change his mind.

Well Chinese New Year is just around the corner…. gotta make some wishes: ( gonna keep them secret )

1)  ….

2) ….

3) ….

4) ….


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xMas to 2012….

January 6, 2012 Leave a comment

A friend now in Canada asked me what I did during xMas day…. I told him that I was home for the day. Shocked he was… but I wasn’t myself. I was asked why i didn’t call my friends out. I was like because it is so… but anyway I did go out for supper? / dinner? late almost midnight that day….

A short lil summary it was… but basically this made me think do you really have to ask your friends out and stuff on these special days. Sure it would be nice but how significant would it be?

During xMas eve, I did go out and was kinda grateful that one of them made it although he was having fever for the day. *bows*

Going back to me…. I don’t think I’m the kind who would call people out and stuff or rather I think I’d rather leave them on their own. I’m rather not too keen on disturbing people especially when they might have things better to do than coming to meet up with me.  You can call this a good thing or bad thing?

I don’t know… 

So forgive me if I don’t actually contact you like forever. I’ve not forgotten you, it’s just that I find no reason to ask people out or start messaging people out of nowhere.

Others might just call me anti-social but I don’t think that to be the case, that’s if you know me well enough. Well because of that most of my friends would go… “Can you free some time out and look less busy?” but in fact I’m just free. Almost all the time I’m just 1 call or sms away from leaving home.

But well this also made me think of…

1) How many friends does 1 need?

2) Sure you can have like many many friends but how many of them would you actually call a true friend?

3) How many of those friends can you actually share your problems with?

4) How many of those friends can you actually freely ask them out?

5) How many of those friends will find time just for you?

For me I can only count a hand worth of people who I can do that with and 1/2 of them are actually currently studying abroad. Great isn’t it? Maybe my turn would be next… just maybe….

Somehow as time passes through to 2012, everything seemed so different.  The same things you did before will never feel or be the same anymore.

Things happen…

Places changes….

People change…

But well that’s part of life isn’t it…. adapting to changes and stuff.

Written too much stuff I feel… about time I stop. ( Not gonna flood 1   page with this post DX )

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i don’t know what title to put…. maybe it’s better so…

December 26, 2011 Leave a comment

Maybe things are fine as it is and it should have been so.

Choices you make can be really interesting….

In whatever choices you make…

stay happy and be strong…

live your life to the fullest…

It’s like a bunch of intertwined roads, there’s no dead end to it and the many many possibilities. One links a bunch of other crossroad and another brand new path. Even if things are not going good for you, it’s just temporary. No one is always h4ppy all the time they have their off times once in a while. What goes about comes about, your turn will come soon.

There’s always a choice for you to make whether the right or wrong one, it’s just whether one has the courage or determination to do it. Nothing will happen if you do nothing, santa’s not going to come dropping a x’mas gift down your chimney. I always believed in this, work hard for what you want there’s no free meal in this world.

Speaking of which merry late x’mas… signing off~~

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December 25, 2011 Leave a comment

It’s amusing that what consequences your words and actions can cause.

In the end of the day, you’re still in the wrong…

No matter what you say or do, things will never be the same again…

Will it ever be mended and become back to normal?

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life as it is…. …..

December 23, 2011 Leave a comment

meH… exams it’s that time of the year where you start realizing how helpless you are. while writing this i’m just 3 out of 6 papers done… and i don’t feel like writing anymore….

*ah well i’ll slowly catch up on several post… although this took days of procrastination…


Anyway now that exams are over it doesn’t mean I can enjoy my holidays. It just means that phase 1 over start of phase 2 which is my final year project. My exams this time round feels just like any other exam I’ve taken in uni just that this time it started with a BANG and ended with a BOOM…

BANG…. the first paper was horrible could barely count the number of marks i could score…

BOOM…. i was late for my last paper! Well Iwoke up at 9am… and it was raining heavily outside almost couldn’t get a cab and anyway got to the exam hall late for 5min…. another 5min was wasted walking in and out 4 times because first i forgot my pencil case… 2nd cheatsheet… 3rd wrong cheatsheet…

PS: Luckily that last paper wasn’t exactly hard….


Technically speaking this will be my 2nd last semester in uni and while typing this i’m on my way to the last semester of uni. During these 3 years of Uni, I’ve always thought of  the Degree as literally a piece of toilet paper for entry level jobs and your starting pay. Other than this, I think that paper is literally useless. Questions of my life, achievements and what I should have done just floats up in my mind….

Should I have entered uni…?

I never was the study guy, I think I would have fared better sailing on a vessel honing up my hands on skills and also travelling to different countries. Although if that occurred some things might not have been how it is now…. have i made the right choice?

What have I achieved in uni…?

Practically nothing…. i dun think i learnt much since most of the stuff just disappears after exam…. probably the most fufilling is getting the scholarship but all that has got nothing to do with uni nor has it helped me in any way.  Eventually, this has brought back to the 1st question whether entering uni was the right to do….

Since my uni life is coming to a curtains down, overall I do not think it’s such a bad experience with a complete overhaul as compared to my poly life. Meeting up with new friends though i do not know whether they will last throughout my life. Stuff that happened that will last in my memories forever and many many things that i regret that I’ve not done. All these would not happened if I chose otherwise. Another route in life will slowly unveil itself to me though I’m sure where I’ll be heading already…. …..


Somehow the wait is over… yet again I passed another semester scrapped through it with a couple of carrots but still phew… i did it somehow my efforts did not go down the drain. Especially on certain subjects that i was quite certain i was gonna flung them but somehow i did it… Carrots and Bananas are just hard to get, if i ever get them it’s just consolation i guess ._.

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this and that and everything…

October 21, 2011 Leave a comment

Ummm… what was i going to say… complaining about school, life, exams and everything…. all those rambles…

Anyway time is ticking down… 12am soon gonnna grow up soon again but it all doesn’t mean anything. By the time i grow up again the next time, i suppose things will be better or if not more promising I hope… Life still moves on as usual vrOOm vrOOm. 10min countdown pOOf!

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